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Contempt: The Biggest Predictor of Divorce

A Marriage Counselor Explains Contempt In my previous posts, I wrote about the first two of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse that destroy marriages: criticism and defensiveness. Today, I’m writing about the worst of the 4 Horsemen: contempt. Contempt in marriages end up being the biggest predictor of divorce. Although the other three Horsemen [...]

Comparing Trauma Therapies: Cognitive Processing Therapy and Prolonged Exposure

When it comes to therapy and mental health treatment, there is not a one-size-fits-all approach. There is a wide variety of effective therapy options out there, and we have a good idea of which ones tend to work best with different mental illnesses. Trauma/PTSD can affect people of all demographics, and we know that cognitive [...]

Emotional Abuse

What Is Emotional Abuse? Emotional abuse is a way someone exerts power over the other by employing approaches such as criticizing, blaming, humiliating, threatening, and manipulation through the victim's emotions. It can also be seen as a concept of four horsemen standing on a platform. The horsemen are criticism, contempt, stonewalling, and defensiveness, while the [...]

Don’t Let Fear of Intimacy Prevent Growth in Your Marriage.

What is Fear of Intimacy? According to marriage counseling experts, fear of intimacy is one of the many enemies of growth in marriage. Intimacy itself can be defined as physical and emotional closeness with another person. You can express intimacy emotionally, intellectually, and sexually in marriage. It is one of the secrets that help to [...]

Coping with Anxiety: Can Certain Foods Increase Anxiety?

Many people view mental health as separate from physical health. As if the mind and body were individual entities, functioning as their own. But that’s incorrect. The mind and body are intertwined and dependent on each other for everything. Therefore, the complexities of anxiety need to be understood from a holistic perspective. Any anxiety therapist [...]

Validation: How to Empathize with Your Spouse and Why It’s Important in a Marriage

Validation: How to Empathize with Your Spouse and Why It’s Important in a Marriage Can you recall the last time you were working through something difficult, and all you wanted was for the person you count on the most to acknowledge your pain? When they did not, it was not only that you felt left [...]

Controlling marriage counseling Louisville Gottman

Controlling: What Does it Mean and How Can Marriage Counseling Help? Have you found yourself caught up in marriage with a controlling spouse? The truth is there are several ways in which control can be present in a marriage, yet not all of them are easy to spot – at least not right away. For [...]

Defensiveness: How the Blame Game can Destroy Communication

A Marriage Counselor explains Defensiveness In my last post, I spoke about the first of four communication patterns, criticism, that are destructive in a marriage.  These are called the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse by Dr. John Gottman, the researcher and marriage counseling specialist, who discovered their destructiveness in marriages.  He found that couples who [...]

Criticism: A Toxin that Destroys Marriages. Stop it Before it Kills Yours.

Do you and your spouse wrestle to communicate your needs without shouting or intense anger?  Maybe you and your spouse attack the other’s personality or character leading to chaos or even worse, shutting down and avoiding him or her altogether?